As a teenager, I believed very
firmly that the day I met my soulmate I would just know. Know that he was the
one. Know that he would be mine. Just know that we are meant to be together.
Love at first sight. Does it
really happen? Can you just look at someone and know in all absolution that
they are the one for you? That they and they alone will make you happy? That
they are the missing part of your soul that you have been in search of for what
seems like eons? What is it about that first look that is such a give-away? How
does anyone know for certain that the person that they have just met is their
other half, their best part? Every romance novel ever written, well almost
every, proposes this ideal love – instant and at first sight. Of course every
protagonist resists it vehemently, and eventually succumbs to it. And of course they live
happily ever after. Delve a little deeper into this, and one thing stands out
in absolution – appearances. No Mills and Boon ever has the line: “She was not
good looking, but had an attractive personality”. Nope, not a single one will
ever have these lines. Every last one of their heroes and heroines are picture
perfect with flawless skin and gorgeous eyes, soulful eyes. Let us not forget
the soul seeping into the eyes – this one I still haven’t been able to figure
out. One possible inference from these picture perfect stories consumed by the
dozen by women globally is that love equals beauty and attraction. The Homo Sapiens
is the only species capable of cognizant love, is amongst the only species that
indulges actively in procreational physical contact without the intention to
procreate (despite what all the holy scriptures say – shame shame!). I do not
think any other species has the cognizance to “fall in love”. And yet in spite
of all the righteous sermons on love and loving we are at the end of the day a
very superficial lot, driven very aggressively by our senses. And nothing is
stronger than the sense of sight – without which life is unfathomable. And inspite
all evidence to the contrary, we judge on sight before anything else.
She is fat hence she must be mean
She is so skinny, probably does not eat much
She has such awful hair
He is so short, who’s gonna date
him
They are so ugly; how can anyone
love someone like them?
And admit it, each and every one
of you are guilty of forming snap judgements based on how someone looks. Even
the most self-righteous cannot honestly say that they never judged anyone based
on their looks. So, how then can one feel love at first sight – love that is
supposed to be the most unconditional, the most pure of all feelings one is
meant to experience in their life? By its very definition “at first sight”
indicated based only on the way something
/ someone looks. What is it about the way one sees this other half of them that
convinces them that they will share a good, long and satisfying life together?
No, I do not believe in love at
first sight. I’d go so far as to say that I do not believe in any kind of love,
save the one felt for your family and friends. Romantic love at its best is an
illusion of perfection that only lasts as long as the illusionist wants it to.
One small break in concentration and the ugly side of reality surfaces. I wish I
could say I am not all about appearances, I most certainly am. But I also
believe in searching for what lies beneath. And a guy too good looking to be
true? No way, that is not ever happening!
