At First Sight

As a teenager, I believed very firmly that the day I met my soulmate I would just know. Know that he was the one. Know that he would be mine. Just know that we are meant to be together. 

Love at first sight. Does it really happen? Can you just look at someone and know in all absolution that they are the one for you? That they and they alone will make you happy? That they are the missing part of your soul that you have been in search of for what seems like eons? What is it about that first look that is such a give-away? How does anyone know for certain that the person that they have just met is their other half, their best part? Every romance novel ever written, well almost every, proposes this ideal love – instant and at first sight. Of course every protagonist resists it vehemently, and eventually  succumbs to it. And of course they live happily ever after. Delve a little deeper into this, and one thing stands out in absolution – appearances. No Mills and Boon ever has the line: “She was not good looking, but had an attractive personality”. Nope, not a single one will ever have these lines. Every last one of their heroes and heroines are picture perfect with flawless skin and gorgeous eyes, soulful eyes. Let us not forget the soul seeping into the eyes – this one I still haven’t been able to figure out. One possible inference from these picture perfect stories consumed by the dozen by women globally is that love equals beauty and attraction. The Homo Sapiens is the only species capable of cognizant love, is amongst the only species that indulges actively in procreational physical contact without the intention to procreate (despite what all the holy scriptures say – shame shame!). I do not think any other species has the cognizance to “fall in love”. And yet in spite of all the righteous sermons on love and loving we are at the end of the day a very superficial lot, driven very aggressively by our senses. And nothing is stronger than the sense of sight – without which life is unfathomable. And inspite all evidence to the contrary, we judge on sight before anything else. 

She is fat hence she must be mean

She is so skinny, probably  does not eat much

She has such awful hair

He is so short, who’s gonna date him

They are so ugly; how can anyone love someone like them?

And admit it, each and every one of you are guilty of forming snap judgements based on how someone looks. Even the most self-righteous cannot honestly say that they never judged anyone based on their looks. So, how then can one feel love at first sight – love that is supposed to be the most unconditional, the most pure of all feelings one is meant to experience in their life? By its very definition “at first sight” indicated based only  on the way something / someone looks. What is it about the way one sees this other half of them that convinces them that they will share a good, long and satisfying life together? 

No, I do not believe in love at first sight. I’d go so far as to say that I do not believe in any kind of love, save the one felt for your family and friends. Romantic love at its best is an illusion of perfection that only lasts as long as the illusionist wants it to. One small break in concentration and the ugly side of reality surfaces. I wish I could say I am not all about appearances, I most certainly am. But I also believe in searching for what lies beneath. And a guy too good looking to be true? No way, that is not ever happening!