Adios!

This post is specially for someone. This year seems to be one of goodbyes... God knows I've had my fair share of them... But then again i guess the share extends to more people. Eleven years is a long time to know someone. It all started that fateful day in VIth standard. I entered the class room with a certain amount of wariness... Unsure of what the future held in store for me. Trying to decide which seat to take my eye fell on one near this girl from the other section.. I had heard about her, stories better left unsaid(i make this part up to sound mysterious lol) and thought "Oh good someone almost as weird as me" and i went and sat in front of her. Her name was Aparna Dargar (still is) and she was this plump friendly looking girl who was perhaps the only one in the class to not judge me. and thus started a journey of immense friendship, love, sharing.... and amongst it all like the serpent in the garden of Eden a little pride, bitterness, disregard and a million other things that plague all friendships at some point in time or the other... But the friendship survived and flourished like a cactus bloom in the desert! (the inherent drama of my personality rears it's head!!) From 1996 to 1998 i had what one could only call the perfect friendship with Aparna. She seemed to be the only one who did not judge me, who did not desert me in loneliness(i have always been a loner in my school times... and if i mixed at all it was always with the wrong people... lol... a trait i still possess!) who kept most of my erratic behavior on track... oh we had some hilarious times fighting with the guys, the stupidity over seniors(you KNOW who I'm talking bout!!) and all those phone calls... Gawd!! Whoever said that the first sign of a teenage daughter is the increase in phone bills was probably talking about us!!!

And then came this period of utter loneliness... I had been deserted by my best friend for reasons known only to her(i did not insist and i still do not want to know) 1999 was the worst year of my life. i lost my best friend and my mother. and surprisingly (or rather not at all surprisingly) the first person in school to figure out something was wrong with me was her. i will never forget the utter relief i got in clinging to her shoulder and crying for the loss of a mother i never knew(my folks were divorced). The ice seemed to thaw a little then between her and me... But it took 2 and a half yrs for her to realise i was still the same old Sakshi, and being friends with me was not all that bad. It hurt pretty bad for those three yrs. I was bitter about the loss of my friend to other people for very long but when she came and spoke to me again I felt as if I had been holding a grudge for nothing. Truly Aparna, I might not have been the best person, I still am not, but your friendship back then meant the world to me. I don't think you ever realised the fact.

College started I shifted out of town, and the bond remained. It still remains. I still have the most awesome (and also somewhat snobbish!) friend in her. It is an amazing feeling knowing that when the world turns against you, there is someone you can call a friend and lean on. Through thick and thin, ours has been one helluva friendship!! I only wish she weren't going away so far.... The sense of security Delhi held simply because of her presence is going with her departure. You know i am not an extremely expressive person when it comes to how i feel and my inner most feelings... And this is as close as i will ever get to telling her how much her friendship meant to me still means to me.... It has survived 11 yrs of criticism and ups and downs... And I'm glad it did. Love you, sweetie!!!

Take care of yourself...

I'm sure you have realised by now that i would never be able to say all this to you. It sounds extremely lesbian(lol) but to f*** with what anyone thinks... You know as well as I do I'm completely straight!!! lol....

Cheers to eleven yrs!! And to the lifetime of friendship to come!