A PLATFORM WITH NO NUMBER..... DID THE TRAIN REALLY STOP HERE?

The following has not been written by me, so please excuse the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. But once i read it, i HAD top put it up. For what it's worth, it's a true incident, not a figment of anyone's imagination, for no one i know has such an inexcusably cruel imagination.

Platform With No Number

By :

Gaurav Julka

After , a Great tour of Mumbai , Visiting Most of all Expected places in

Mumbai to be visited , it was time to go back home & Enjoy the Dull & boring life of Baroda ,I had gone to Mumbai ,basically to chill with my friends at the national office of my student organization ,but now it was time to go back to Baroda . Those days were days where It was hard to book an AC Train ticket on the spot , the only option I had was to go via a bus or a Sleeper Class train , so I choose to go to Baroda via sleeper Class train . It was 6:30 Pm when I left my office and took a cab to Banadra Terminus , As soon as I reached there , there were five to seven Kuli’s ready to pull my baggage , up to the platform , where my train supposed to leave from . I confirmed my train number ,time and its platform .It was 7:45 pm in the evening & unfortunately my train was at 10:40 pm at Night , so I knew , I have lots of time to chill on platform , but fate had something else for me .

Well it was time to select a kuli , during the completion between the kuli’s there was a voice ,which attracted me a lot this voice was of a boy of maybe age 13 to 14 ,saying that he would lift my baggage in half the price the kuli’s would do , living in Gujarat I have always learnt to save money , so I decided to go with him . he took me to the last platform ,through those small tunnels & spaces . As I reached the platform I saw it was totally deserted & there were no hot chicks around .he dropped me somewhere in the middle of the platform & just charged me Rs. 30,I was really cool with that , but who knew , this platform would change the way I look at life .

As I reached the platform , sat on a cement seat ,I realized my cell phone battery was dead, forget chilling now it was really getting bored. Like other humans ,even I had the same tendency of accepting things. Looking around I saw a group of small kids may be 10 to 16 years of age playing cards, they were playing some odd game out of my knowledge . It was really shocking to see these people to play cards . It instantly touched my heart , they being so poor , not even food to eat , forget clothes some of them were half naked . I just tried to ignore all that & look around , the only things I could see were an old boogie of a train in front of me , a water tap and A tea stall, so I opted to have a cup of tea , but still I could not distract my mind from the group , these guys were playing as if , the winner gets Mumbai .

Suddenly I noticed that a person came out of that abandoned boogie , he was a fat guy of an age may be forty , he was closing the zip of his trousers which indeed amused me , but the next thing was shocking , after two minutes he left , there came a small girl ,came out of the same boogie , she must be 15 years of age , she was indeed sweet. She was talking as if she was alcoholic and then I realized she was a prostitute . I questioned myself , was it true what I saw , was it just a usual misconception of mine , she walk towards the platform and sat amongst the group of those children playing cards .

Till I could get back from my senses , a boy amongst the group suddenly shouted with excitement that he had won the game ,the boy instantly banged his hand on the girls breast , I knew the girl was in pain , I could see it on her face , Actually the girl was the reward of winning that game . His hands were still on the girls breasts until other boys forced him to remove his hand , there was an argument in the group because the boy was a junior he cannot take away his reward , after that second just in front of me the boys started asking the girl for sex , and the words they used were unimaginable , even the girl . During this the girl shouted , that she just had sex and she was tired , these words that she used took me out of my senses , the girl even looked at me and said she had just done...

I Seriously got nerves, that what was happening , where were the cops , where was the culture , where was I , was I in some kind of misconception about this world or was it just a dream that I was dreaming. The boys just wanted to touch her all around , I was high time that I realized that I needed to do something , But What ?? suddenly I don’t know I just randomly shouted , that what was going on , the boys suddenly scattered and the girl moved towards the tea stall , she sat on the platform , and was drinking the left over tea of someone there at the stall . one of those boys comes near to that girl and puts his hand across her neck and very politely asks her again

to have sex, he promises to pay her for that .He throws his hand into his pocket, grabs a five rupee coin and gifts it to the girl , she turns around with an angry smile and asks him for the other fifteen rupee’s , the boys says , he would arrange by tonight , I mean I was shocked , that what the hell was wrong , was the cost of the girl just twenty rupee’s , is she so poor , is her life like this ? after that the girl said that as soon he would bring the money , she will open up all her clothes for him , she allowed him to move her hand on her breast until the tea stall person shouted at them , then apparently she disappeared towards the main platform, as a train had arrived on the adjacent platform , the kids walked towards the train to carry luggage’s , but the girls face was still on my mind , I didn’t knew what to do

, what to look for , whom to go to , but still had a thing called faith and hope in my mind , I went to the Tea stall , gathered guts and Asked the person at the tea stall ,that what was this all about , he gave me a shocking reply he said it was her job indeed he said she was really good when she came from her home town , Surat, he said in blunt words that there was no more fun in having sex with her ….

What was it , where was I after this reply I could not even imagine the girls state at this station , but still I had that girl in my mind so asked him again that what was the girls name , he replied in his same blunt words , he said some name “ which in English meant Fucking , I was in one of the worst situations of my life , I sat down on my seat near the pillar and was thinking about her daily life that If she needs to earn hundred rupees she needs to have sex with at least five people , this kept creeping in my mind , Enough was Enough I stood up , went to the police person on the adjacent platform and told him about all this , his reply also shocked me he said why was I concerned about it , he said why did I wanted to get into trouble , he told me to stay away and she would take care of herself , but I knew she wont and she cant .i found myself in the same dilemma . I guess it was a day which God had Specially selected for me ,to prove myself in the test of life as all this passed on it was 9:50 pm on my watch I was still thinking on it , apparently there was an announcement made that my train was 1 hour and 20 minutes late , it meant that the train would actually leave at 12:00 midnight from Borivalli (Mumbai).

I tried to Distract myself but it was impossible, I could not forget the girls face ,after few minutes of thinking and Brainstorming I decided the only solution was that I go and talk with that girl & somehow or anyhow convince her that this was spoiling her life ,somehow sitting there I decided yes I would look through it , I decided to talk to her , but what ? I want clear on that also I hadn’t realized when and Where ? this was again a big question for me , my eyes kept looking around other platforms for her sight. The only thing that came into my mind was she would must be having sex , in some corner of the station and earning twenty rupees for her night meal !

It was 11:10 pm and my search was completely of no use , again the

platform became deserted & you could hardly see people . Suddenly the same voice entered my ears , she was coming towards the tea stall , while she was calling off and running after the stray street dogs . We both had an Eye contact with each other then none of us had the guts to look at each other , I figured there was no way that I could next to her and talk , the only way was the next step that I took , a step which would re-define my culture ,a step which could get me into troubles , I took one of the most courageous steps in my life again after few minutes of thinking and brain storming , I called her by a random name , she bluntly replied that it wasn’t her name , I knew that for a fact , I called her and told to sit next to me , she replied in a accent which is rarely used by people that what would she get out of it , the next thing I did was ultimate shocking step of mine , I took a fifty rupees note from my pocket and asked her to come and sit next to me , she stood up , Ran and sat next to me at a blink of a second her hand was over my jeans moving towards the centre of my legs , I stopped her and told her to listen to me first . I told her , that I would pay her fifty rupees if she would not have sex with that boy tonight and I also told her to return his money , she quietly took the money and then returned it back , saying that she never begged from anyone ever & that’s why she choose to live such a life .I explained her a lot about her life ,the people around her , I told her that all of them were just greedy of her body , I told her that she could be currently suffering from Sexual Diseases , I told her that she could keep that money as I was satisfied sitting next to her . she took the money and said “thanks “ this word was not in Hindi , I was shocked she spoke in English , also she little English also , I asked her that where she had learned all this and where was she from ? first she did not reply , but then when I forced her she said she was from Surat , her parents died during Earthquake’s , she had studied in an English medium school till class 6th , after the riots in Surat she run away to Mumbai with her other friends but they all left her alone , and she started living on the station & slowly she move into prostitution , after this there was no such exchange of words I just gave her 200 rupees more to go back to

Surat , she said she cant and she won’t and she does not need this money !

I forced her a lot and finally she took the money , but she would not go back to Surat .Then I asked her to leave the station and look for some kind of job ..she told that she was a house maid , and she usually earns much that she can sustain , this was a small point of satisfaction in my mind… After this she quietly stood up , without saying anything she went away towards the adjacent station , she had those eyes which were hiding a lot more , I wanted to know , but I guess it was too late . Few minutes later I was sitting on the window seat of my train , trying to look for her all around but failed . I had a level of satisfaction but those questions still arouse in my mind that would she leave all this , had she realized what she was doing , have I really changed a person with just 250 rupees , is the world just about money ?? if yes Why are we not changing it , we call our self youth do we even know its meaning , are we applying what we learn ? are we being change agents .

The only thing next thing happened with me was I called few of my friends and told them about this ,and I was thinking about all this all night instead of sleeping & it is during this time I am writing the story , I have just crossed Surat station with a hope that she would leave Mumbai for this station soon , also another thing that again questioned me on my foolishness was that why didn’t I asked her name , anyways its 4:00 am and its getting late I need to sleep , anyways lets see what’s next in life .

(Please understand few words were directly converted into English , because their hindi meaning was

too controversial , thank you for reading this hope you got what I wanted to convey, please make it

point to forward it too all your friends so that a story of a forgotten Girl ,is know to everyone .)

Requiem for a Dream

Summer, Fall, Winter – three seasons of the year. Three phases of life. Three stages of deterioration. Start afresh, a tree with green leaves, that gradually dry, turn brown and finally fall off, leaving the tree bare and defenseless. Naked. All of us born with such dreams, such hope, so sure of ourselves, of our success. Walk around on cloud #9, making happy plans for an unforeseen future. And one small detail overlooked, one step taken wrong, one act of desperate misplaced faith, and slowly and steadily everything starts slipping away till all you are left with in your hands is dry leaves. Memories of happy times. Memories of a past better best forgotten by the present. Memories that torture you, torment you, tease you, mock you, till you reach a point when all you want is to be left alone. Like a bad horror movie, all your dreams, now nightmares, taunt you, in Technicolor.
And how you want to curl up in your bed, and just wish yourself back to your mother’s womb. Escape all the pain, misery and hurt that came out of your oh-so-perfect plans that you were so sure would be your ticket to the GOOD LIFE.
Watch Requiem for a Dream. Say NO to DRUGS.

Sleepless Nights...

It’s past three in the night, I’m wide awake, trying to find sleep that is successfully evading me. So I decided to do the one thing I like to do the most, vent my frustration in words. Frustration! Now there’s a word and emotion I know everything about. Sadly it was only in the last few months that I learned so much about it. Ever been in a situation where there is a wonderfully delicious cake sitting in front of, but your mouth is taped up, and your hands are tied behind your back? That is as close as I can get to describing the feeling. You go through the day with a feeling of vagueness, and restlessness at the same time. And for the life of you, you can’t put a finger to what exactly is causing this unnatural feeling of unease. Your vitals are perfect; your surroundings are alright, you are getting food, good food. And yet in spite of all the creature comforts accorded to you, nothing seems to satisfy you. Ever felt all of this? Then you will understand to a certain extent what I feel each day. It’s hard to explain. Anyway, it’s like talking about spilt milk. I don’t know why I wrote that last bit! It just sounded really nice and intelligent. Which you might have guessed by now that I am most definitely not! Intelligence and I have had a long love-to-hate each other affair. I guess you could say that it’s one of the longest relationships I’ve had till date. Any one who knows me even a little bit would know that acting rationally, intelligently is not my forte. Ask my best friend she’ll testify to my lack of brain power! The saying common sense isn’t that common, kind of applies to me most accurately! In all my 20 odd years on earth I’ve never behaved in a manner acceptable by a person of my age. I’ve defied authority in ways inconceivable by normal beings, I’ve always leaped before I looked, always spoken first thought about my words later. You could say that is one of the reasons why as a child I never really had many friends. You know how in school and college everyone has their social groups and circles; well I was the lone ranger of all the batches, classes and groups. I’m no sociopath, so don’t get me wrong. I have friends, and some really good ones, it’s just that I’ve never really been part of a large social group. Never attended parties, never hung out at malls with a huge group of people, never gone for reunions. All these concepts are truly alien to me. While in school I was the silent ignored child sitting quietly in her corner, undisturbed by the class unless it was to be made the butt of jokes or unjustified teasing. I distinctly remember once in a PTA my class teacher had actually asked my folks if I knew how to talk! Of course I was talked about. That was simply because I was the oddity that did not belong anywhere. This feeling of being an alien to the society I was with, hung on to me, still surrounds me. I’m nearly through with my higher education, and I can still say that in all these years in college I’ve managed to remain away from the regular social groups, and circles. Always a loner. See, now don’t get me wrong again, I have friends, it’s just that all of them aren’t a group. They belong to different social circles, but I have a friend in each of them. My inability to be a diplomat is one of the reasons why I never really blended into the crowd. I always stuck out like a sore thumb. Some say I’m too blunt, and some say I’m just plain weird. It really isn’t my fault I had divorced parents, and that it was always my grandmother who came to take my report cards. But these things made a difference. How does one explain at the age of 6 that her parents chose to stop living together? How does one explain at the age if 12 that her father was dating her primary class teacher? It’s a bit irrational to expect kids of that age to understand the intricacies of human behavior. And as a result, I ended up the odd one out. Now it would have been completely different, if my mother had just simply died. Then maybe, just maybe things would have been different. Instead, here I was, 6 years old and the product of a broken household and a dysfunctional family. Oh dear! I’m rambling now. Anyway, so like I was saying I’ve basically been a loner. So why now when I’m sitting ALONE at home at 4 am, does the thought of being alone scare me so much? I wonder. Every one has their days, I guess it just wasn’t mine, and I’m guessing tomorrow in spite of being a Sunday won’t be mine either. Thank heaven for the fact that in a week and half I’m off for a break. Maybe that will help. Oh! Who am I kidding? Nothing will. Oh! Dear now I’ve written too much. I think I’ll stop here, before I write something I’ll regret writing and reading later! If there is one I detest, it’s regretting!

Home is Behind...

Home is behind the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread,
Through shadow to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.

Mist and shadow,
Cloud and shade,
All shal fade,
All shall fade.

The Anvil

"I was made like the anvil solid
I can take the blows as they come
But the hammer must reel
To my tempered steel,
I'll be here when the hammers are done."

- R.G. Stewart (The Anvil, 1941)

Street Side...

Sitting on the street side, on a tea stall, I watch as life, all types and forms of it, passes by. With a disinterested, dispassionate gaze I look upon the throng of humanity as it hustles about busy in work, in going somewhere, in meeting someone, in life… I take a sip of my tea, Ughhhh it tastes BAD today! There are all manners of people standing around me. Well all of them aren’t standing, some are sitting as well. And yet, they do not pique my interest today. Two months back, I would be sitting here, more interested in them than in drinking my tea. Today, even my tea doesn’t hold my attention. I can feel the stares upon me. I can feel the thoughts directed my way. Who is she? What’s she doing sitting alone? Is she easy? The regular male way of thinking. I can finally understand why women don’t come here alone. And Oh! God! I’m going to create a bigger stir of interest in a few minutes when I light my cigarette. And you know what? I don’t give a FUCK. To hell with the throng of lecherous men directing all their lecherous psychic energy towards me. Gawd! Men! Can’t live with em, can’t live with out em! To hell with it, here goes, interest stirred, cigarette lit. Oh look… my body guards are finally here… later then… ciao!

Out Of My Mind

Light a candle, lay flowers at the door
For those who're left behind and the ones who've gone before
Here it comes now, sure as silence follows rain,
The taste of you upon my lips, the fingers in my brain
Ever gentle, as it kills me where i lay
Who am i to resist, who are you to fail?

Got to get you out of my mind
But i can't escape from the feeling
As i try to leave the memory behind
Without you what's left to believe in?

Could be so sorry, for the way it had to go
But now i feel your presence in a way i could not know
And i wonder, do you ever feel the same?
In whispering darkness, do you ever here my name?

here in the back of your mind
here in the back of your mind

And how could you dare,
To become so real
Become so real..
When you're just a ghost in me
And i've....

Got to get you out of my mind
But i can't escape from the feeling
As i try to leave the memory behind
Without you what's left to believe in?

Here in the back of your mind
Deep in the back of your mind
Here in the back of your mind
Deep in the back of your mind
Deep in the back of your mind...

-Duran Duran

The Saint

And when the shafts of pure light
Dance in her eyes,
I see my angel for the first time,
I know my purpose, feel my birth,
Hear, at first faintly, then distinctly,
The sweet strains of our union.
Our loves heats up the cold universe,
Gives my tired, desperate hope a
Reason and season to be revealed.
We purified by our kisses,
Are eternally healed.

- Thomas Moore
The Saint.

I wish......

Pushing People Away...

I had written the following few lines a long time ago, in a stoned haze... I never knew they'd be thrown back at me with such force at point blank range....

Peaople are strange..
They fear death, yet they carve their way to hell with their own two God given hands.
They fear failure, yet they percieve success as too minor.
They fear hate, yet they do everything possible possible not only to make others hate them,
But also reach a stage where they hate themselves.
So much so, that the mirror becomes a fearful entity.
And then they wonder where they went wrong.

Pushed away my dear and near ones with my own god given hands, did i? I don't give a shit. If they got pushed away, they were hardly near and dear ones.... Ha Ha Ha Ha..... Near and dear ones, MY ASS!

P.S. Whenthese lines had been sent to me by someone else, i had thot it had hit me and i had fallen. I'm up and fighting again! Stronger than ever before.

A Not So Average Day

So here I am stuck in the elevator alone. Sweet! It all started this morning when I did not wake up with the alarm. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a slacker or a lazy bum, at least not when it is time to get up for THE job interview of my life. But today for some reason I did not wake up with the first tinkle of the alarm clock, nor did its incessant ringing break me out of my dream. Oh! Yes of course the dream. How can I forget the dream? I am a self confessed dreamer. I live more in my dream world than in reality. Not a particularly good thing to be doing, considering that I’m more often than not quite rudely pulled out of my state of parallel existence, usually to find myself either on my rear on the floor(or road!) or in a situation where all eyes are on me waiting for me to speak and I’m a million miles away. Embarrassing. Extremely embarrassing. Sort of like the time in a movie hall when you anticipate a loud moment in the movie and decide to speak loudly to make yourself heard and the movie decides to silence out. Of course then not only the people sitting with you hear you, but the entire auditorium has an insight to your opinion!! That is my life. So like I was saying I did not wake up with the alarm. Instead my brain broke out of sleep one and a half hour after the time I was due to wake up. Sheesh… so me, a person who is obsessively methodological, slow and organized ended up rushing through my morning routine (I must admit here that I hate rushing through anything) got dressed, locked up and called for the elevator (my house is on the seventh floor). Of course of all the times for the lift to be jammed on the ground floor it had to be today, when I was in a hurry that it actually was jammed. Cursing a blue streak, I ran down the stairs, only to reach the complex entrance and find no auto rickshaws there. (My father refuses to trust me with anything that moves and that needs to be operated on the street as conveyance. I am 22 yrs old in case you’re wondering.) So I ended up walking nearly a kilometer before I came by a rickshaw. By now I was good 45 minutes late. I called my future employer and made some very random excuses. (I don’t think she quite believed me, but by now I did not care, I just wanted to reach the office before lunch hour!) Well just when I thought things were getting along just fine, something had to happen. What I still fail to understand is why the hell did I not see it coming and anticipate it? I mean Murphy’s most basic Law was written with me in mind. The rickshaw broke down. It just stopped, along with my heartbeat. “Sorry Madam gas over.” Said the poor hapless driver. I did not blame him, though I did indulge in a slanging match with him. It was just not my day. These things pick the damnedest time to happen. Why today? Why when I need to make an impression? (all chances of which had been shot to hell by now, by the way) anyway, I managed to get a grip on my anger, (with A LOT of difficulty might I admit, deep breaths counting till ten… no make that a hundred et all) and got out of the useless rickshaw (all the while cursing my dad for his lack in faith in me, though I have to admit, it might not have made much of a difference, considering the current state of affairs and the way things were going. The car would probably have given up on me, the kinetic would probably have run out of gas as well, and the bicycle… well… it would probably have crash landed against the divider, with me still on it, mind you.) Now here is the tough part, the stupid vehicle had run out of gas in an area of the city where there wasn’t another rickshaw in sight for miles. So I walked. It’s what I invariably end up doing in situations like this. This should give you an insight into my sorry state of affairs (on GOOD days, when I did not have interviews to attend). Eventually I did get another rickshaw, after miles of walking, it did seem like miles. Oh! And did I mention, it was raining? My brand new salwar kameez was now limp and hanging on my persona, and to top it all off, dripping color. Dripping color, I tell you. When one spends nearly a fortune on clothes like these the least one expects is that the color wouldn’t run. But what can I say? I repeat, it was just one of those days. I did finally reach the office, a full two hours late. The irony of it all was that, owing to the rains they had called off the interview, because most of the candidate had failed to turn up!! Just my luck! Sigh… now to trudge back home. I walked in the rain, in for a dime in for a dollar. Only by this time my luck seemed to have improved, a friend of mine working for the same company was in possession of a car and offered to drop me back. It was a run down beat up old thing, so I guess my being wet and dripping color did not make much difference. I did look at the vehicle a little skeptically. Will it break down mid way? It did not. We reached my apartment complex, I thanked my friend, got out of the car and made a dash for the building (frankly I had out run my endurance to water). I decided not to risk the elevator in case it got stuck somewhere and did not reach the ground floor. I climbed stairs. Yes I climbed seven stories up. I reached my floor huffing and puffing and completely out of breath. It was not funny. And it was then that I realized that I had left my mobile phone and wallet in my friend’s car. Of all the moronic things to do. To hell with it, I thought. I’ll take it later. Luckily for me, the elevator stopped at my floor just then, with my poor friend in it.

To be continued......